Finding new sexuality in wounded soldiers. How does sexual rehabilitation work in Ukraine?
About seven thousand Ukrainian soldiers have suffered genitourinary injuries and need sexual rehabilitation. This was reported by Sviatoslava Fedorets, co-founder of the International Association of Military Rehabilitation Therapists, psychologist and sexologist. However, thousands of soldiers have received other types of injuries and also need sexual rehabilitation.
Svidomi talked about the path to finding a new sexuality with the family of a wounded soldier who managed to give birth to a third child and improve their sex life.
Read the article about the couple who returned to sexual life, what wounded soldiers face in general, and how sexual rehabilitation works in Ukraine.
"The first thing I worried about was whether my genitals were still there because my right leg and the inner part of my left thigh were burned."
Vitalii Mizin, a soldier with the 66th Separate Mechanized Brigade, was injured on May 17, 2022, when the Russian military fired missiles at the quarters of the training centre. The man suffered burns to his head, torso, upper and lower extremities. Doctors amputated his right arm and leg.
"The first thing I worried about (after being wounded - ed.) was whether my genitals were still there because my right leg and the inside of my left thigh were burned. I asked my wife to take a picture of me and check how everything looked," Vitalii says.
The wife took pictures of her husband's body because he could not move at first after the injury. When he saw that he had not lost his genitals, he calmed down a bit.
"First, we talked and hugged each other. Then Vitalii asked me to lie down on the bed next to him. I was afraid my touch would hurt him, but everything happened step by step. At first, we lay together, hugging and caressing," says Yuliia.
The first time the family talked about sex after the injury was four months later, when Vitalii was no longer in the intensive care unit. They didn't speak openly, but Yuliia remembers thinking about appropriate poses.
"We dreamed and planned how to adapt to the new reality," her husband recalls.
Yuliia and Vitalii Mizin's family is from Cherkasy, centre of Ukraine, but they live in Finland now, where the husband is undergoing rehabilitation. They have three sons; the youngest, Maxim, is seven months old. He was born after Vitalii was injured.
"When I was discharged home, an active return to my sex life began. I had to adapt to the existing conditions and possibilities. Nothing is impossible if you truly want it. Two months later, we found out that we were having our third child," says Vitalii.
First of all, you have to give your body time to recover because — after serious injuries, the body fights to survive. Only after some time will it be ready for pleasure, the Mizins say.
It was his wife who became a great support and encouragement for the man at all stages of his rehabilitation after the injury. Yuliia also recalls that her priority was her husband's physical and emotional recovery.
"I feel good now. I've got used to my new life. Children and work never make me feel sad or lazy. Life is full. We try to be active despite the surgeries, procedures and rehabilitation. I am growing in creativity (paracord weaving — ed.) and improving my ability to weave with one hand! I spend the remaining time with my children, wife and doing household chores," says Vitalii Mizin.
Sexual rehabilitation. What the wounded face
Sex is not just about intercourse; it is about closeness, intimacy, emotional and mental processes, love and mutual understanding.
"A physical injury of any severity can be such a powerful psychological event that the issue of sexuality can become closed and taboo in a person's mind," says Kseniia Dubych, a psychologist at VeteranHub, a support network for soldiers and their families.
Any injury (amputations, burns, spinal cord or brain injuries, pelvic fractures — ed.) can affect the sexual function of the wounded, says psychologist and sexologist Sviatoslava Fedorets.
Various injuries can lead to changes in self-perception and loss of the sense of being a man or a woman. For these reasons, the wounded may refuse to have sex.
"We can't help but mention the injury or loss of genitals. Unfortunately, we cannot replace what has been lost with a prosthesis, but we can teach them to extend their sexual pleasure in other ways. The loss of a penis does not mean that a man can no longer reach orgasm,"
says Sviatoslavа Fedorets.
It is impossible to create a generic step-by-step rehabilitation programme for everyone. Each injured person may have different needs and issues.
"Before you can resume your own sex life, you need to get your own body back to a minimally active level, and your wounds need to heal. The period of rehabilitation and adaptation to the new state of the body is different for everyone," says psychologist Kseniia Dubych.
The Medical Forces Command of the Armed Forces of Ukraine, in a comment to Svidomi, noted that the Ukrainian law on rehabilitation in the field of health care did not provide for sexual rehabilitation. In addition, the job title of "sexual and reproductive health specialist" does not exist in the Ministry of Health.
